- Sex + Dating
By Ashley Uzer
While we’ve finally learned how to interpret a guy’s motives through his text messages, we’ve now been hit with a completely new messaging device.
Snapchat, originally used for discreet picture messaging (nudes), has now become a widespread communication device for young people. It’s not wholly uncommon for a guy to ask for your Snapchat instead of your number, and the younger you are, the more likely you are to have your crush message you on Snapchat rather than call you on your cell phone like Drake would.
We spoke to four guys agedÂ17-25 about what they really mean by their Snapchats, and used the info to tell you when to block them or when to accept their advances.
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1. He Only Messages You On Snapchat
Most of the guys said that they don’t have conversations with girls solely on Snapchat, but if they do it’s for convenience’s sake.
“It’s mostly just if they say something and I don’t feel like texting them to comment back, I text her [in Snapchat].ÂIt’s just in the moment, I haven’t put that much thought into it,” says Dan, 24. If he was seriously interested in asking her out, he says he would “probably” text or call her instead.
But Kyle, 21, assured me that “if a guy is [only messaging you on Snapchat], he’s probably just trying to hit it.”
But if you’re younger, you may want to slow your roll before you cut all Snapchat fuckboys out of your life, as Riley, 17, says, “I Snapchat more than I text. I don’t really know why, I think it just kind of happens.”
Still, ifÂa guy is only messaging you on Snapchat, and it’s been that way for a while, it’s probably never going to develop into anything serious. Sure, maybe he’s into you, but do you really want to date a guy whose idea of a serious convo is a selfie and some emojis?
And then there’s the worst case scenario: he’s got a girlfriend and he’s using Snapchat so he can hide the fact that he’s talking to you and six other girls. If a guy is only conversing with you through Snapchat, you should probably run for the hills just to be safe.
READ ALSO: Snapchat Just Made It Easier For You To Avoid Your Ex’s Story
2. He Messages You On Snapchat While You’re Texting
If the guy you’re into is texting you, you know he’s feeling you. If a guy Snapchats you while he’s already texting you, he’s definitely feeling you. I mean, seriously, he couldn’t get enough of you on one appÂso he wanted to have you on two? He should just propose already.
“I do that all the time. Just to see pics of her and her reactions to stuff,” says Kyle.
“I do it to see how she responds to certain pictures,” said Patrick, 20. “Like, if I send a shirtless pic lounging around, you want to see if she will get a little sexier. Girls will always do that shit where they’re like,Â‘I’m getting in the shower’ and sometimes send a snap after, so sometimes they initiate the Snapchat [while you’re texting] too.”
Okay, so maybe he isn’t irrevocably in love with you just because he’s snapping you and texting you, but it definitely means he’s into you and he can’t get enough. Don’t plan the wedding yet, but don’t shy away from sending some more post-shower selfies.
READ ALSO:ÂYou Can Actually Sue Someone For Leaking Your Nudes
3. You See Him Constantly Snapchatting Other Girls
Although Snapchat has taken off the ever-so-controversial “best friends” feature, that doesn’t mean that your crush or your boyfriend isn’t snapchatting other girls from time to time. The question is, should you be worried?
“I Snapchat aroundÂ10 girls regularly,” says Dan. “I’d say half are friends and half are girls that I’m talking to. I don’t have a girlfriend right now, so nothing is really serious with me. They’re all girls I would maybe get with, but sometimes I wouldn’t want to bark up that tree at least right now because I can’t get into anything serious. I view Snapchat as very casual.”
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“I Snapchat aroundÂfive [girls],” says Kyle. “They’re not all girls I’m trying to hook up with. Some girls that I snap with every day I’m just friends with. It’s just social media.”
“I’d say maybe there are threeÂgirls I snapchat every day, and then there are other girls I snapchat from time to time,” says Riley. “Some are strictly friends, others I would hook up with.”
It can be agonizing to see a hollow red square on your boo’s Snapchat from some chick and not know what she’s been sending him, but try to take it from your perspective. You probably have guy friends that you Snapchat with, and you also probably get Snapchats from dudes that you haven’t responded to in months. If it’s really bothering you that much, you should talk trust with your man. Just like giving a girl a like on Instagram isn’t a big deal anymore, exchanging some casual snaps shouldn’t be either.
READ ALSO: How The Hell Is Starbucks The #1 Date Spot?
4. He Sends You The Same Pics From His Story
Everyone hates this, but everybody does this. Sometimes you just can’t risk putting up a cute bikini selfie on your story without making sure that your crush will see it. Yet, when a guy sends you a snap and you realize it’s also in his story, you’re kind of bummed. Like, damn, you ain’t special.
Don’t get so offended. Out of the four guys, they all agreed that they send the pics to their friends (or their crush) as well as their story, just to be sure.
“I usually just send [photos from my story] to my top friends also,” says Patrick. “If I’m putting it on my story I was probably going to send them the pic anyway.”
Your dude obviously couldn’t risk you missing the bomb-ass dinner he made last night or the “sick” shotgunning he did of that Natty Light. Sure, it makes him look a little lame, but he just wants your attention.
5. He’s Asking For Nudes
Once a guy asks for nudes, the fuckboy red alerts start going off. You may want to talk yourself down by saying “boys will be boys” or assuring yourself that it’s just because he’s so into you, but don’t.
“If I have respect for a girl or I’m friends with her, I’d never ask for nudes,” says Kyle. “I’m more likely to ask girls for nudes on apps, like when I use Bumble, because she’s random and she’s hitting me up first.”
Let’s get one thing straight: if you’re a decentÂhuman being you should have “respect” for anyone you’re talking to, not just your friends. But Kyle raises a good point: if a guy asks you for nudes right away, he’s probably got a virgin-whore complex and some warped ideas about women to go along with it.
And according to Dan, sending a guy nudes unprovoked can backfire.
“If someone is sending me nudes, unless we’d hooked up before I wouldn’t know what to think of that,” says Dan. “I would just think they’re easy. If they’re sending me those Snapchats, who else are they sending them to?”
It sounds harsh, but think about it â€” how do you feel when you get an unsolicited dick pic? Not great.
The main takeaway here is that guys you’re not dating seriously shouldn’tÂbe trusted with your nude pics. The worst case scenario is that they’ll show them off to the world, and the best case scenario is that they’ll silently judge you while also asking for more.ÂSend nudes at your own risk.
6.ÂIs He Worried About It?
While you spent thirty minutes taking the perfect “casual but sexy” bedtimeÂselfie for the dude you’re crushing on, it’d be comforting to know that he over-analyzes all of your Snapchat exchanges as well. The good news is that guys worry about Snapchat almost as much as you do.
“I definitely have thought that way before,” says Dan. “Afterward, I was like ‘maybe I shouldn’t have sent that.’ I’ve definitely had someone open [my snapchat] and be like ‘why didn’t they respond?'”
“This girl hit me up recently out of nowhere and we were Snapchatting me back and forth,” says Kyle. “Then she saw [my Snapchat] and didn’t answer for an hour. Like, why not? She hit me up first!”
All in all, it seems that boys are even more confused than you are about how to master Snapchat flirtation. If a dude isÂserious about you, he’ll hopefully get the message and invite you out so that he can see you for more than 10 seconds at a time. But other than that, nothing has changed. Avoid the dudes who only hit you up when they want something, but don’t punish the nice guys for sending too many boring selfies. They are guys, after all.